We MUST Need A Vacation?!?!?!?

A remote control car came driving at me the other day. It crashed into my feet and this is what I saw first:



It says, "Take the one under". So I lifted it up and and there was another note.



It says. "go on vacation you need it"

It was from Camden. So stinking cute! I am thinking we need to plan a vacation?!?!?

This is NOT what I meant when I taught my kids to share

I am having a rough day.......
Kellen left for Sly Park, which has been sooo much harder for me then I thought it would be! Because of my own health I am stuck NOT being able to go with him. It makes me mad, and sad. Really sad.
I woke up and thought I was just tired, I went from saying goodbye to Kellen straight to work. I got my stuff and sat down at my desk and my head just started spinning, and throbbing. I called my boss, said I was going home to get some medicine and then I would be back. I never made it back. I am sick. Mekenzie was sick last week, she shared. I don't have time to be sick, and sadly I don't even have the energy to be sick. Even carrying my backpack to and from the bathroom is too much right now. I think I got sick because I let my guard down and had a pity me day. Grrrrrrrrrrr. I am lucky to have Mekenzie and Camden here. Mekenzie took care of dinner and picking up after (she is a really good kid)! Camden gave me a hug when I had a meltdown a minute ago. I said, "I'm so sorry, I don't know what is wrong with me"!
He replied, "It's ok, you're just being a mom". Sooo cute, and so sweet! Made my night! And his since how could I tell him he could not sleep in my bed after that?
I am sure tomorrow will be a better day. It has to be, right?!?!?

I got over it

I took my few days, felt sorry for myself. Now I am over it and back to doing what I've got to do. We are really fine, really. My attitude is much better and I am back to being able to tackle the world!
I AM having a little panic attack about Kellen going to Sly Park without me this week, the doctor (mine) will not let me go with him. Kelly will go for a few days and then we will go up to "flush" him in the evenings for the last few. I've never NOT been the one to take care of him all day and it is worrying me a little. I know he will be fine so I'm not sure why I am worried, but I am.
Kelly took both of the boys camping this weekend with the scouts. I miss them and am ready for them to come home but it is always nice to have time just me and Mekenzie. She is just getting more fun to do things with as she gets older. I LOVE spending time with her! Since neither of us felt good we really haven't done anything exciting, but it was nice to be together (just picked her up a breakfast - it is 11:00am - of french toast sticks, curly fries, and a oreo shake)!
Now to cuddle on the couch in my snuggie and let Mekenzie bring me laundry to fold! See were good!

I Hungry

I Hungry
Kellen said I needed this bumper sticker for my backpack.
I am grouchy! So be prepared for a grouchy post!
I am getting tired of walking around the house to the Dora song “Backpack Backpack” sung by my kids (Mekenzie). I am tired of making food and not eating it. I am tired of having this tube hanging from me and tripping on it. I am tired of having to lug this 20+ pound backpack with me everywhere I go. I am tired of having to go to the bathroom a million times a day. I am tired of “beeping” and sounding like I am carrying a bomb. I am tired of gaining weight even though nothing goes into my mouth. I am tired of being tired, and nauseas, and always having a tummy ache. I am tired of getting up at night and having to untangle all of the cords plugged in around my backpack. I am tired of tripping over my tube on the stairs, getting in the car, on the couch. I am tired of forgetting I am tethered to a bag only to walk away and rip the tape that is holding the tube onto my skin. I am tired of it being so hard to shower because I can’t get the arm my pic line is in wet. I am tired of asking my husband to help me wash my hair. I am tired of only being able to move 3 feet from where I drop my bag. I am tired my house is falling apart around me, and the laundry is not getting done because it is impossible to carry clothes with my huge bag. I am tired of sleeping but not feeling rested. I am tired that since CA is having a nursing crisis no one is actually in charge of my care so when I have a problem I go in circles until I realize no one cares. I am tired of getting labs drawn 1, 2 or 3 times depending on the week.
I have been on TPN or IV nutrition now for 6+ weeks. I go back and forth from feeling like its getting better to being miserable and not sure if any of this is working. On the bright side they are letting me eat some foods (yogurt, sf jello, and applesauce), the problem is anytime I put something in my mouth it makes me so sick I wish I didn’t.
I’m giving myself today to be grouchy. Then I am going to get over it and just deal with it. So Grrrrrrrrrrr …………… to be continued when I am feeling more positive (or I can fake it better then today).

Breaking the Rules!

My kids are precious. No, really precious! They are so [over] protective of me lately and what might seem cute is really not so cute anymore. Let me explain.... Other then sips of water I am not supposed to put anything in my mouth,(except gum, I think, but I am not going to ask....just in case they tell me no)!! This is a big rule. They want my stomach to heal so when I eat, it has to work and can't heal. If I even considered eating anything, before my hand actually got to my mouth Mekenzie, Kellen, or Camden would have tackled me and taken whatever I THOUGHT I might want to eat out of my hand (this might have happened once or twice).
You don't realize what a habit eating is. I get up every morning, pour my cereal, and eat while I read my email. When I get home from work I eat my lunch while I check my Facebook. Dinner is a family event at our house, I cook and we eat together as a family. Breakfast and lunch have been bareable to miss. Dinner is another story. I have to go upstairs while my family eats, it is sad but the only way I can do it (and I sit on my bed and sob feeling sorry for myself....ok enough with the dramatics).
Tonight everyone but Mekenzie and I went to bed early (yeah!!). We love our time together!! I really wanted some cheetos - really, really bad. I found some "Munchie Mix" in our cupboard and figured I would "suck" on the cheetos. Do you know how hard it is to "suck" on cheetos?? I think one or two (they were the size of pencil lead by the way, no big, good cheetos), might have slipped down my throat and into my tummy. Shhhhhhhh.... don't tell my kids, they will have my stomach pumped!!
Are you wondering if I felt satisfied? I had to have Mekenzie bring me a medication for nasuea. NO, it wasn't worth it. Next time I'm going for something better like See's Scotchmallows, my favorite treat, so when I am sick I will have at least snuck something good!! Ugggggg!

Comings and Goings

The kids keep bugging me to blog. I try to explain to them that no one ever reads our blog, and we already know what is going on in our lives. That did not make them happy so I am blogging. I haven't blogged because I figure it would take forever to get caught back up. Feel free to stop anytime if you get bored.....
Let's start with Camden.
Camden had a milestone birthday in July. He turned 8!!!! We celebrated by having family from out of town, his baptism, and his Birthday Party at Safetyville!! It was a great weekend for him!


He also completed swim lessons and finally seems to have "got it" this year!! He didn't even seemed freaked out when they jumped off the diving board!

We also spent some time doing our favorite thing - 4 wheeling (Quadding to those of you who are not from Utah).

The boys started back to school on July 26th! They LOVEd Their teacher and seem to be having a great start!!! Next up is Camden's busy soccer schedule!
I think Camden has had a great summer! He is such a good kid and can entertain himself for hours, we love it!! In fact right now he is hammering away in the garage building a bat and ball holder!!
Next is Kellen -
Kellen has spent the past many weeks playing basketball. He loves it, and I would love to say that he is part of a winning team with great players, but I am against lying, so I won't. He is a good foot and a half shorter then anyone on his team. He is however,(and I am saying this without bragging, I promise), the very best player on the team. I wish I had pictures, I will have to post them later!
Kellen also enjoyed the time with family in town. His cousin Jodan and him really had fun together. They played so good and were buddies the whole time!!


We had a ton of fun going to Jelly Belly, Quadding, Safetyville, hanging out in the hot tub, and Old Town!!
Kellen's health has been pretty good too. He had a few weeks with a lot of pain and they were concerned about a stricture but he seems to be doing pretty good making it to school most days and having a couple of pretty good weeks (yeah!)
Then there is Mekenzie. She has kept us REALLY busy this summer with all she is involved in. I have a funny feeling it is a glimpse of the future for us.
She started out the summer with her Dance Recital dancing with Elk Grove Dance. She did a beautiful ballet number and three clogging dances. She was awesome!!!


It was so fun to watch her this year in dance! It is making us look forward to her performances with the Sheldon High Dance Company!
She also had the great oppurtunity to dance in the Strauss Festival. Strauss is a festival that has been in Elk Grove for 20 or so years (I think). It is sooooo fun! Mekenzie got to ba a part of the Polka Group, which is the best part of the whole show! The boys tossed the girls in the air, spun them around, flipped them over. It was sooooo good!



She has been really busy! She spend most of the day dancing or singing. Mekenzie does not start school until Monday but she got her schedule tonight and is really excited to get started (Does dance, weight training, and English sound like a rough schedule??? She better get all A's!!!)! She has tryouts for Elk Grove Musical Theatre Companies production of Annie on Tuesday and is currently practicing for the start of school events with the Dance Company!
Kelly - I should let him write this part. He has done a little bit of fishing, helping Kellen to catch his very first fish!! He has been able get out and do a little bit of quadding but I know he has not got to do enough of either of these things! The boys keep bugging him to take them camping so I see a camping trip in their near future.
He is finally getting busy at work and he loves it! He really does like his job when things are going well and he is busy! He has been doing the mom and dad job's around here while I recover from a illness and he has done a great job (I think he is just about done with it all though!)!!
I have stayed busy with the kids, house, and work. I have had this pesky ulcer that will not go away. After 2 visits to the emergency room and numerous calls to the doctor they took a look and could not believe I was still functioning (I am guessing they don't have 3 kids, a job, and a house). Right after they took a look I was admitted to UC Davis Hospital where I spent 4 days, they inserted a pic-line, and have put me on TPN or IV nutirition. I am not able to eat ANYTHING for the next few weeks (possibly months) while they hope that it will heal. You do not relize how much eating is a habit and it is weird to not be able to do it! It has been a week and I am miserable. I still have no energy and am in some pain but hope it will quickly heal and I will soon feel better then I have in months!! I had been telling the docs for weeks I was in pain and really sick but they did not realize just how bad it was. (I was gonna post pictures but I thought that might be TMI). So if you see me with my backpack, and a tube hanging out of my shirt - don't offer me food!! I am scheduled to have the tube in until February (yes, really February) but will eventually go on a night schedule instead of the 24hours I am currently doing and adding back some soft, bland foods into my diet. We have been blessed with great neighbors and friends that have stepped up to help us out!
I think that is everything in a nutshell! If you made it this far.... AMAZING!!! I am going to be better to blog and not let it go so I feel so overwhelmed when I need to do it! Yes kids, I promise!!

17 Years

Today is a special day at our house! It is our 17th Anniversary!!! I still cannot believe that it has been that long. As I think back to all we have accomplished and all we have been through It amazes me that the time has flown by so quickly. I am grateful that I have been blessed with a man that uses his priesthood to bless our home and who is supportive and loving to me and the kids on a daily basis. We have been through the hardest yeat in either of our lives but we are making it through, together!!!
We have a tradition to head out of town for our Anniversary, a much needed weekend alone. Unfortunattly I have been really sick and spent the past week in the hospital. I even left with a fancy tube feeding me (I hate it!!), so not even a dinner out tonight. We are looking forward to a get-away in a few weeks and some much needed time alone!
We made it 17....... here's to 17 more!