Kellen is 11

Kellen is 11 today!
It does not seem like that long ago that Kellen came into the world. When he decides to do something he does it good. That included his birth, my labor and delivery...under and hour!
He was a very "wanted" baby. We worked hard to get him here. Tests, medication, the whole thing. When he came into this world he was completely silent. Even scaring the doctor enough that he made sure to tell us that even though he was not crying he was doing great and was completely healthy, just not screaming. Little did we know that he would scream constantly for the next 18 months. We LOVED him so much we barely even noticed that all he did was cry, and cry, and cry. But it was ok, we were so happy to have him.
It seems like it has been the longest, and slowest, year of our lives but when I look back at how fast my children are growing it seems to be going by to quickly!! Kellen has had a really hard year and has had to deal with some life altering changes. It, amazes me as I look back over the past year, that all that has happened in Kellen's life he still has a great attitude and sense of humor. He has dealt with his past year so much better then I would have expected, better then I could do! He has an amazing spirit, and attitude about all that he has to go through. That does not mean he does not have some tough times, he does, but he works his way through it and moves on. Knowing "it is what it is".
One of our birthday traditions is that I picked up the kids from school on their birthday and take them to lunch. Today Kellen chose the Chinese place down the street. At the end of our meal as we read our fortunes we both agreed they could not have been more perfect, it was a little bit weird! Kellen's said, "Determination will get you through". I will be saving this one and reminding him of it as often as he (we) need. Mine said, "Don't waste time on what might have been". Is the fortune cookie maker looking over our shoulder? I seem to have spent a lot of time on the things I WANTED for Kellen, the ones that are no longer an option. He wanted to be in the military, not gonna happen (not sad for me on this one, just sad he cannot fulfill his dream). If he decides to serve a mission for our church he cannot go anywhere but home, no adventures out of State, or out of the Country. These are the things I personally think about and worry about for him. I guess I need to stop!
I am so proud of Kellen and I feel blessed every day to be his mother! I could not ask for a better child. I am sure that Kellen is meant to do great things in this world, I can hardly wait to see what he does with the next 80 years!!
Happy Birthday Kellen, We love you!!

This is What it has Come to..

Our lives have changed over the last 6 weeks. We now have a "new normal" as I have mentioned a million times before. We are settling into a routine, of course just in time to have it all shook up by round two of Kellen's surgeries tomorrow, but a routine none the less.
When we flush Kellen we are in the bathroom a long time, usually with the door open. So yesterday Grandma Roblyer had sent the kids some mail for Valentines. They LOVE getting mail from Grandma and always wait to open it when they are together, it is very cute. The boys had been waiting for me and Mekenzie to get home from the eye doctor so when we walked in they wanted to open that package. Kellen was being flushed so without even thinking about it we all piled into the bathroom to open our cards and discuss our days ,(and what we were going to do with the $2 grandma sent, ice cream!!!!).
We all started to laugh when we realized we were gathered around the toilet to have our "family time". This is what life has become at the DeVoogd house. It was funny until Kellen decided he needed some privacy and told everyone to "get out" and "close the door". When everyone left his response, "Will I ever have privacy again"? All I could say is, "Probably not, Probably Not"!!

25 Things

I am jumping on the bandwagon and posting my 25 things list from Facebook. This was a hard one for me. It took a long time to think of 25 random things about me. SO here is mine...and hold your breath...Kelly is working on his and I will post it here when he is done (he is on #6).
You are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you.
1. I am totally against doing this, and even as I type wonder why I am but decided I might actually learn something about myself while getting my friends off my back :).
2. I do not like ice cream....do not like is not strong enough. I HATE ice cream!
3. I met my husband when I was 6 and he was 9. No it was not love at first sight..in fact him and his brothers were the troublemakers of the neighborhood. We were re-introduced years later by our mothers and only then became good friends.
4. I am a huge creature of habit. I am not good with change. I eat the same thing, at the same time for breakfast everyday. If I miss a day I am totally thrown off.
5. I dont sleep, ever. I used to live for my 8 hours a night and sadly I am learning to live on a lot less. Maybe 4 or less a night. I do take a little nap Sunday afternoons but that is about it!
6. I love, love, love my children. I have never wanted anything more then to be a mom, and I love it. Even during the hard times I am so greatful that I was able to have children, and I get to raise them. I secretly wish I had more, but know 1 more would be more then I could handle.
7. I dont like to yell (or be yelled at). I grew up in a house where there was a lot of yelling (sorry mom and dad it's true). It makes me feel like I am 5 when people yell. I actually have a physical reaction to it! It is something I dont want to pass on to my kids so you will hardly ever hear me yell. If I do you better run, I have been pushed too far!
8. I love lists. I sometimes make lists of lists I need to make. I need to have things written down in order to see what I need to do. I have grocery lists, to do lists, want to do lists, lists for work, lists for the kids, lists of home improvements that need to be done. It never ends!! I am not sure if it is just the list I love or the writting. Writting anything is theraputic for me. I have a ton of journals and I love to write notes. I started a blog hoping that would be the same, its close but not exactly the same.
9. I have a random thought about someone or something I need to say it to them. I send out a lot of random texts just becasue I need to say something and dont want to miss the chance.
10. I love music! I love music that means something to me. I will hear a song and listen carefully to the words. I will listen to a song over and over and when I am going through something. I use it to work through it. (I know...random) . I am not good at expressing an emotion but I can do this through music. Some of my favorites right now; "Say" - John Mayer, "Broken" Lindsey Hauhn, and "Anyway" by Martina McBride. I even have music I clean too!!
11. I do not like to be the center of attention. I prefer to be in the background in everything that I do. Even birthdays are horrifying for me, I dont like to be watched, or noticed.
12. One lady gave birth to me, another raised me. Love one of them....trying to love the other.
13. I have always wanted to be a nurse. I even had my CNA at one point and worked in a long term care facility. ( The only problem working there is Kelly would not come and visit me because he said it smelled like old people.). The last few years this is a renewed interest of mine....one I might soon consider looking into again.
14. A couple of years ago I took a job working as the Financial Officer for a large OBGYN's office. The owner hired me after working for her in a church position, and being a patient. When I started I did not balance my own checkbook, in fact I did nothing financial in my house (she knew this when she hired me). Since working at that job I now worry about my money ALL of the time! I cannot just go and buy whatever...I hate it, I really have to think about it first! If my checkbook does not have a cushion I freak out. Just recently I quit this job (this week), maybe the insanity will stop!
15. I need my friends, a lot! I have great friends, and I love them all. I am so greatful for the friendships that I have!
16. When I clean my house (usually once a week), I wont cook. It is not because I don't want to cook it is because I need my house to be cleaner just a little longer and once we go back to cooking, it's all over.
17. You can tell how I am feeling..or my mood..by the look of my house. If it is clean I am good, cluttered..I am busy, and a mess...well, I am a mess (you should see it today!!!)
18. I LOVE fresh flowers and try to always have some sitting on my counter. It is another one of those things that are based on my mood. After I clean I replaced the flowers. Just a side note...the ones I have now are dead what does that say about me?
19. I am jealous of people who are full of confidence. That is not me! I get embarrased by compliments and am never really sure of myself.
20. I have just lived through, (am still in the middle of), the hardest time of my whole life (so far). I have had a lot of trials in my life, most of which I could totally handle. This one is different. I have had to make decisions and choices for one of my children that will affect his life. As a mother you want to do what is best for your children, but sometimes it takes more then youv'e got.
21. I am learning there are times I have to depend on others, I prefer to do things on my own and never like to have to ask for help. Since I have not delt with #20 as well as I would like I am learning it is ok to accept help every once in awhile.
22. I LOVE texting! We took away Mekenzies phone due to her texting problem....had I known how easy it was to get addicted I maybe would have given her a break (maybe not). I love that I can send a text whenever I think of something I need to say, it is a problem. I love that I have a few friends that work nights so I can even text all night long if I need too (not sure they like it), I have solved a few of the worlds problems late at night during a texting conversation! The only thing I dont like is that I cannot always get the emotion to come across when I text and have to text an explanation......
23. I am greatful for my husband. He works hard to support our family and is a great father and husband. I cannot believe it has been over 16 years since we got married. How has he done it all these years???
24. I love to sing (see #6). I would never sing in front of people (see #11), but I have. I actually sang in church and at school as a teenager. Not sure what happened but your chances of seeing that are long past unless you sneak in during our family karaoke! Me and Mekenzie sing a mean duet!
25. I cannot sit still. I need to always be doing two things at once. If I watch TV I will be on the computer or putting something together. Even when I try to sleep I constantly move my feet (It makes Kelly crazy). It makes me anxious for my hands to not be busy. So little time, so much to do! I am a great multi-tasker!! Sometimes I want to just sit! I spend the whole time battling with myself about things I could be doing at the same time. It is exhausting!!

Martin Luther King Day

This morning as I was going over some of Camden's Papers from school, one of them stood out. It was his "I Have a Dream" page. In celebration of Martin Luther King day the kids all wrote their own dream. Here is Camden's:
I Have a Dream...
I wish Kellen would get better so I can play with him and so I don't have to take out the trash and do all the dishes. And I also want to play his Play Station Portable. And his MP3. And so he could go to bed at the same time as me. And so he can also not always have junk food like me. And also be healthy like me.

This is so sweet, in a way. Especially if you read between the lines at his dreams for Kellen's health, and not just him being so overworked! Camden is so kind hearted and hates to see others struggle. I am off to get a tissue!

A Really Long Week

It has been a long week in the DeVoogd house. Kellen had to have some major surgery this week and it was one of the roughest week of our whole lives. Kellen has Inflammatory Bowel Disease - or - Crones Disease. He has major problems with his intestines. He has had many surgeries some minor and a few major ones. This one was by far the worst. Not just physically, though physically it was awful for him. But also mentally, this was a hard one!
He went in Tuesday and had a procedure then after a night of vomiting and pure misery was taken in for surgery on Wednesday morning. I wont go into details other then to say it was a very long week. And it is one of two surgeries. He will have another, though not as hard for him, in 6 weeks. I learned a lot this week. If you read our Carepage we have set up for Kellen this is a repeat, you can stop reading now. If you don't read it here is what we learned:
1. I am thankful for our good doctors and hospitals that have the ability to care for our children, and are able to think "outside the box" even if it means rigging up some feeding bags to avoid "spillage" so a self conscience 10 year old boy is not horrified when he is sitting covered in nasty!!
2. I am thankful for the ability to be tired but still function and to be exhausted and ignore it. It was just this morning I told Kelly if he did not go home I had hit a wall and was beyond tired. Today is the day I truly felt extreme exhaustion. I am not sure of many people who could sleep only 1-2 hours a nigh and still feel like a human throughout the day. There was never a time I thought I would not be able to be "up" and "available" for Kellen. This is one of those small miracles that happened this week. I should not have been able to function...I should have "cracked"
3. I am thankful I have a husband who is willing and able to take care of everything at home. As well as my crazy complaints and requests. He was available for the kids, me, and even kept the house looking good.
4. I am thankful to have the kids I do. The ones who are at home but are doing all they can to help out. Mekenzie was great helping with laundry and cleaning. She even sat with her brother one afternoon so me and Kelly could have a 10 minute conversation we needed to have alone. Camden was pretty easy going and just went with the flow. As long as we made sure he got a little individual time he did great being shipped off and moved around all week.
And of course Kellen. There are a lot of kids in the hospital. A lot of crying, screaming, yelling, and bossing around. Kellen was so good, he always is. Never complaining when he has every right too. Crying only when he has reached a breaking point, and never being rude or out of control. He said "thank you mom" so many times to me I had to hold back tears when he would say it to me after he had just been through something so rough yet still made sure he was kind to me.
5. I am thankful for good friends who brought us food - to our home and the hospital. Who called and called then called Kelly when I was unable to answer because I was having my own little breakdown to see what they could do. Who texted when I couldn't answer the phone sometimes late into the night, who facebook chatted even thought they wanted to go to bed. And who visited with Kellen and made him realize it is all going to be ok!
6. I am thankful that we are in a situation where I did not have to leave my child alone in the hospital while I went to work. Leaving him having to fend for himself. This happens a lot from what I heard or saw. I have complained about being stuck in the hospital...I needed to remember it is actually a blessing to be able to be there and give my child the one on one care he needs. I could have never left him.
7. I am thankful I was able to bring my child home with me. Knowing that what is going on with him is permanent but, he is still here with us. I did not have to wonder if he was going to get to come home, or if he would be ok. This hit me really hard this week knowing how very lucky I am.
8. And finally I am thankful to have a home to come "home" too. With my own bed and shower. Even if we came home to a water leak that looks really bad and a lot of work ahead to get Christmas taken down and my house sterilized so I feel like I can actually care for Kellen appropriately.
It is going to be a long couple of weeks at the DeVoogd house. I am tired even thinking of it. But we are so blessed and thankful for all that we have.

Christmas

I can't believe it is over. Now all that is left is the mess (and the new clothes and toys)! We had a great Christmas. It was a fun day around here, I was so sad to see it end. There is nothing like the feelings you have at Christmas - I just love it!!!
Here is our house before the craziness - I love the organized before!



Here is the house after.....



It is always a crazy mess after Christmas. I love the build up, the decorations, the shopping, everything!! I am not a fan of the clean-up! I worked today and left Kelly and the kids to take over and get the house in order. It looks pretty good, still needs some "motherly" cleaning, but a little more picked up.
I think the kids got everything they asked for:
Mekenzie got gift cards to the mall, lots of clothes, some boots, and a gumball machine (she really wanted one).
Kellen got a PSP (handheld game system), Hostess Cupcakes and Twinkies (he actually asked Santa for these), some games, and jammies.
Camden got a Colts beanbag chair, a MP3 player, and some "real" tools to help his dad fix and build things!
I think they had a great day!
Now we are planning for the next adventure in our lives. We will be spending our New Years in the hospital as Kellen is having some major intestinal surgery on Tuesday and will be in the hospital for 5-6 days. So it is time to clean, do laundry, and get everything else tied up to end a 2008 and move on to HOPEFULLY a better 2009!

Words of Wisdom...

My kids sometimes say the funniest things. This week has been no exception.
We were on our way to our Ward Christmas Party and Kellen asked if Santa would be there. I told him yes, his reply was that in the Dictionary it says Santa died in 1832! Explain that one!!!!
Camden was telling me how he knew he was going to get something from Santa this year because he is only 7. He told me, "Santa thinks it is o.k. to be bad when you are 7 but when you are 8 if you are bad Jesus get's mad" I guess Jesus and Santa talk. Good thing there is repentance!
Today is my B-day and Camden wanted to help so he made my bed. I was getting ready for the day and he came and told me, "It's not pretty but It was made with love". It took awhile to stop laughing from that one, he is 7!!
Mekenzie is preparing to be in "Alice in Wonderland", the musical. She is really excited!!! She is a flower, but she has no name. She is really upset about this and so we are thinking of what kind of flower she could be. There is already a rose, daisy, petunia, and lily. Any ideas??? We tried Calla Lily, Marigold, and whatever the name is of the Kennecott Sulfur flower. She doesn't like any of them!! This she wants you to know, is not funny!!