We MUST Need A Vacation?!?!?!?

A remote control car came driving at me the other day. It crashed into my feet and this is what I saw first:



It says, "Take the one under". So I lifted it up and and there was another note.



It says. "go on vacation you need it"

It was from Camden. So stinking cute! I am thinking we need to plan a vacation?!?!?

This is NOT what I meant when I taught my kids to share

I am having a rough day.......
Kellen left for Sly Park, which has been sooo much harder for me then I thought it would be! Because of my own health I am stuck NOT being able to go with him. It makes me mad, and sad. Really sad.
I woke up and thought I was just tired, I went from saying goodbye to Kellen straight to work. I got my stuff and sat down at my desk and my head just started spinning, and throbbing. I called my boss, said I was going home to get some medicine and then I would be back. I never made it back. I am sick. Mekenzie was sick last week, she shared. I don't have time to be sick, and sadly I don't even have the energy to be sick. Even carrying my backpack to and from the bathroom is too much right now. I think I got sick because I let my guard down and had a pity me day. Grrrrrrrrrrr. I am lucky to have Mekenzie and Camden here. Mekenzie took care of dinner and picking up after (she is a really good kid)! Camden gave me a hug when I had a meltdown a minute ago. I said, "I'm so sorry, I don't know what is wrong with me"!
He replied, "It's ok, you're just being a mom". Sooo cute, and so sweet! Made my night! And his since how could I tell him he could not sleep in my bed after that?
I am sure tomorrow will be a better day. It has to be, right?!?!?

I got over it

I took my few days, felt sorry for myself. Now I am over it and back to doing what I've got to do. We are really fine, really. My attitude is much better and I am back to being able to tackle the world!
I AM having a little panic attack about Kellen going to Sly Park without me this week, the doctor (mine) will not let me go with him. Kelly will go for a few days and then we will go up to "flush" him in the evenings for the last few. I've never NOT been the one to take care of him all day and it is worrying me a little. I know he will be fine so I'm not sure why I am worried, but I am.
Kelly took both of the boys camping this weekend with the scouts. I miss them and am ready for them to come home but it is always nice to have time just me and Mekenzie. She is just getting more fun to do things with as she gets older. I LOVE spending time with her! Since neither of us felt good we really haven't done anything exciting, but it was nice to be together (just picked her up a breakfast - it is 11:00am - of french toast sticks, curly fries, and a oreo shake)!
Now to cuddle on the couch in my snuggie and let Mekenzie bring me laundry to fold! See were good!

I Hungry

I Hungry
Kellen said I needed this bumper sticker for my backpack.
I am grouchy! So be prepared for a grouchy post!
I am getting tired of walking around the house to the Dora song “Backpack Backpack” sung by my kids (Mekenzie). I am tired of making food and not eating it. I am tired of having this tube hanging from me and tripping on it. I am tired of having to lug this 20+ pound backpack with me everywhere I go. I am tired of having to go to the bathroom a million times a day. I am tired of “beeping” and sounding like I am carrying a bomb. I am tired of gaining weight even though nothing goes into my mouth. I am tired of being tired, and nauseas, and always having a tummy ache. I am tired of getting up at night and having to untangle all of the cords plugged in around my backpack. I am tired of tripping over my tube on the stairs, getting in the car, on the couch. I am tired of forgetting I am tethered to a bag only to walk away and rip the tape that is holding the tube onto my skin. I am tired of it being so hard to shower because I can’t get the arm my pic line is in wet. I am tired of asking my husband to help me wash my hair. I am tired of only being able to move 3 feet from where I drop my bag. I am tired my house is falling apart around me, and the laundry is not getting done because it is impossible to carry clothes with my huge bag. I am tired of sleeping but not feeling rested. I am tired that since CA is having a nursing crisis no one is actually in charge of my care so when I have a problem I go in circles until I realize no one cares. I am tired of getting labs drawn 1, 2 or 3 times depending on the week.
I have been on TPN or IV nutrition now for 6+ weeks. I go back and forth from feeling like its getting better to being miserable and not sure if any of this is working. On the bright side they are letting me eat some foods (yogurt, sf jello, and applesauce), the problem is anytime I put something in my mouth it makes me so sick I wish I didn’t.
I’m giving myself today to be grouchy. Then I am going to get over it and just deal with it. So Grrrrrrrrrrr …………… to be continued when I am feeling more positive (or I can fake it better then today).