Kellen is 11

Kellen is 11 today!
It does not seem like that long ago that Kellen came into the world. When he decides to do something he does it good. That included his birth, my labor and delivery...under and hour!
He was a very "wanted" baby. We worked hard to get him here. Tests, medication, the whole thing. When he came into this world he was completely silent. Even scaring the doctor enough that he made sure to tell us that even though he was not crying he was doing great and was completely healthy, just not screaming. Little did we know that he would scream constantly for the next 18 months. We LOVED him so much we barely even noticed that all he did was cry, and cry, and cry. But it was ok, we were so happy to have him.
It seems like it has been the longest, and slowest, year of our lives but when I look back at how fast my children are growing it seems to be going by to quickly!! Kellen has had a really hard year and has had to deal with some life altering changes. It, amazes me as I look back over the past year, that all that has happened in Kellen's life he still has a great attitude and sense of humor. He has dealt with his past year so much better then I would have expected, better then I could do! He has an amazing spirit, and attitude about all that he has to go through. That does not mean he does not have some tough times, he does, but he works his way through it and moves on. Knowing "it is what it is".
One of our birthday traditions is that I picked up the kids from school on their birthday and take them to lunch. Today Kellen chose the Chinese place down the street. At the end of our meal as we read our fortunes we both agreed they could not have been more perfect, it was a little bit weird! Kellen's said, "Determination will get you through". I will be saving this one and reminding him of it as often as he (we) need. Mine said, "Don't waste time on what might have been". Is the fortune cookie maker looking over our shoulder? I seem to have spent a lot of time on the things I WANTED for Kellen, the ones that are no longer an option. He wanted to be in the military, not gonna happen (not sad for me on this one, just sad he cannot fulfill his dream). If he decides to serve a mission for our church he cannot go anywhere but home, no adventures out of State, or out of the Country. These are the things I personally think about and worry about for him. I guess I need to stop!
I am so proud of Kellen and I feel blessed every day to be his mother! I could not ask for a better child. I am sure that Kellen is meant to do great things in this world, I can hardly wait to see what he does with the next 80 years!!
Happy Birthday Kellen, We love you!!

This is What it has Come to..

Our lives have changed over the last 6 weeks. We now have a "new normal" as I have mentioned a million times before. We are settling into a routine, of course just in time to have it all shook up by round two of Kellen's surgeries tomorrow, but a routine none the less.
When we flush Kellen we are in the bathroom a long time, usually with the door open. So yesterday Grandma Roblyer had sent the kids some mail for Valentines. They LOVE getting mail from Grandma and always wait to open it when they are together, it is very cute. The boys had been waiting for me and Mekenzie to get home from the eye doctor so when we walked in they wanted to open that package. Kellen was being flushed so without even thinking about it we all piled into the bathroom to open our cards and discuss our days ,(and what we were going to do with the $2 grandma sent, ice cream!!!!).
We all started to laugh when we realized we were gathered around the toilet to have our "family time". This is what life has become at the DeVoogd house. It was funny until Kellen decided he needed some privacy and told everyone to "get out" and "close the door". When everyone left his response, "Will I ever have privacy again"? All I could say is, "Probably not, Probably Not"!!

25 Things

I am jumping on the bandwagon and posting my 25 things list from Facebook. This was a hard one for me. It took a long time to think of 25 random things about me. SO here is mine...and hold your breath...Kelly is working on his and I will post it here when he is done (he is on #6).
You are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you.
1. I am totally against doing this, and even as I type wonder why I am but decided I might actually learn something about myself while getting my friends off my back :).
2. I do not like ice cream....do not like is not strong enough. I HATE ice cream!
3. I met my husband when I was 6 and he was 9. No it was not love at first sight..in fact him and his brothers were the troublemakers of the neighborhood. We were re-introduced years later by our mothers and only then became good friends.
4. I am a huge creature of habit. I am not good with change. I eat the same thing, at the same time for breakfast everyday. If I miss a day I am totally thrown off.
5. I dont sleep, ever. I used to live for my 8 hours a night and sadly I am learning to live on a lot less. Maybe 4 or less a night. I do take a little nap Sunday afternoons but that is about it!
6. I love, love, love my children. I have never wanted anything more then to be a mom, and I love it. Even during the hard times I am so greatful that I was able to have children, and I get to raise them. I secretly wish I had more, but know 1 more would be more then I could handle.
7. I dont like to yell (or be yelled at). I grew up in a house where there was a lot of yelling (sorry mom and dad it's true). It makes me feel like I am 5 when people yell. I actually have a physical reaction to it! It is something I dont want to pass on to my kids so you will hardly ever hear me yell. If I do you better run, I have been pushed too far!
8. I love lists. I sometimes make lists of lists I need to make. I need to have things written down in order to see what I need to do. I have grocery lists, to do lists, want to do lists, lists for work, lists for the kids, lists of home improvements that need to be done. It never ends!! I am not sure if it is just the list I love or the writting. Writting anything is theraputic for me. I have a ton of journals and I love to write notes. I started a blog hoping that would be the same, its close but not exactly the same.
9. I have a random thought about someone or something I need to say it to them. I send out a lot of random texts just becasue I need to say something and dont want to miss the chance.
10. I love music! I love music that means something to me. I will hear a song and listen carefully to the words. I will listen to a song over and over and when I am going through something. I use it to work through it. (I know...random) . I am not good at expressing an emotion but I can do this through music. Some of my favorites right now; "Say" - John Mayer, "Broken" Lindsey Hauhn, and "Anyway" by Martina McBride. I even have music I clean too!!
11. I do not like to be the center of attention. I prefer to be in the background in everything that I do. Even birthdays are horrifying for me, I dont like to be watched, or noticed.
12. One lady gave birth to me, another raised me. Love one of them....trying to love the other.
13. I have always wanted to be a nurse. I even had my CNA at one point and worked in a long term care facility. ( The only problem working there is Kelly would not come and visit me because he said it smelled like old people.). The last few years this is a renewed interest of mine....one I might soon consider looking into again.
14. A couple of years ago I took a job working as the Financial Officer for a large OBGYN's office. The owner hired me after working for her in a church position, and being a patient. When I started I did not balance my own checkbook, in fact I did nothing financial in my house (she knew this when she hired me). Since working at that job I now worry about my money ALL of the time! I cannot just go and buy whatever...I hate it, I really have to think about it first! If my checkbook does not have a cushion I freak out. Just recently I quit this job (this week), maybe the insanity will stop!
15. I need my friends, a lot! I have great friends, and I love them all. I am so greatful for the friendships that I have!
16. When I clean my house (usually once a week), I wont cook. It is not because I don't want to cook it is because I need my house to be cleaner just a little longer and once we go back to cooking, it's all over.
17. You can tell how I am feeling..or my mood..by the look of my house. If it is clean I am good, cluttered..I am busy, and a mess...well, I am a mess (you should see it today!!!)
18. I LOVE fresh flowers and try to always have some sitting on my counter. It is another one of those things that are based on my mood. After I clean I replaced the flowers. Just a side note...the ones I have now are dead what does that say about me?
19. I am jealous of people who are full of confidence. That is not me! I get embarrased by compliments and am never really sure of myself.
20. I have just lived through, (am still in the middle of), the hardest time of my whole life (so far). I have had a lot of trials in my life, most of which I could totally handle. This one is different. I have had to make decisions and choices for one of my children that will affect his life. As a mother you want to do what is best for your children, but sometimes it takes more then youv'e got.
21. I am learning there are times I have to depend on others, I prefer to do things on my own and never like to have to ask for help. Since I have not delt with #20 as well as I would like I am learning it is ok to accept help every once in awhile.
22. I LOVE texting! We took away Mekenzies phone due to her texting problem....had I known how easy it was to get addicted I maybe would have given her a break (maybe not). I love that I can send a text whenever I think of something I need to say, it is a problem. I love that I have a few friends that work nights so I can even text all night long if I need too (not sure they like it), I have solved a few of the worlds problems late at night during a texting conversation! The only thing I dont like is that I cannot always get the emotion to come across when I text and have to text an explanation......
23. I am greatful for my husband. He works hard to support our family and is a great father and husband. I cannot believe it has been over 16 years since we got married. How has he done it all these years???
24. I love to sing (see #6). I would never sing in front of people (see #11), but I have. I actually sang in church and at school as a teenager. Not sure what happened but your chances of seeing that are long past unless you sneak in during our family karaoke! Me and Mekenzie sing a mean duet!
25. I cannot sit still. I need to always be doing two things at once. If I watch TV I will be on the computer or putting something together. Even when I try to sleep I constantly move my feet (It makes Kelly crazy). It makes me anxious for my hands to not be busy. So little time, so much to do! I am a great multi-tasker!! Sometimes I want to just sit! I spend the whole time battling with myself about things I could be doing at the same time. It is exhausting!!

Martin Luther King Day

This morning as I was going over some of Camden's Papers from school, one of them stood out. It was his "I Have a Dream" page. In celebration of Martin Luther King day the kids all wrote their own dream. Here is Camden's:
I Have a Dream...
I wish Kellen would get better so I can play with him and so I don't have to take out the trash and do all the dishes. And I also want to play his Play Station Portable. And his MP3. And so he could go to bed at the same time as me. And so he can also not always have junk food like me. And also be healthy like me.

This is so sweet, in a way. Especially if you read between the lines at his dreams for Kellen's health, and not just him being so overworked! Camden is so kind hearted and hates to see others struggle. I am off to get a tissue!