Decision Time

Tomorrow is the day. I think that I have tried everything I can at this point to avoid surgery. It has been 4 full months on "the backpack" and I have just got sicker. Now along with the pain I am not absorbing what I need to survive. I don't want to let someone cut my belly open, but it sounds like I no longer get too much say in what I want. I am ready to feel better. I thought it was the worst it could get a few months ago. I was wrong. I am in excruciating pain, at times I am doubled over, in agony. I am not sleeping, or functioning. I consider myself to have an extremely high tolerance for pain so the fact the pain is bringing me to my knees is bad. We meet with my doctors tomorrow afternoon and I am extremely anxious. He has given my three options, all of which I hate! I have decided the option I want and at this point just hope they will move quickly. I know a couple of weeks ago he would have done it immediately. The doctor told me he feels like he is being inhumane to continue to watch me suffer through this.
Pray that the doctor will let me choose the decision, and that I will not get put in the hospital at my visit tomorrow (he keeps threatening me), and that I can get all my Christmas stuff done! It is stressing me out. I am NOT a last minute person so not having the shopping done or anything decorated is soooo stressful for me. I'm going to work on it over the next few days, I am sure it will get done, right :)